Pen and Caffeinated Ponderings

Don’t Want to Grow Up

Their are times like today, where I wish I could be a little kid again, where the biggest catastrophe was cutting to much hair off the heads of my American Girl Dolls. Or how I was going to make more then seven monies from my father, so I could buy another princess figurine from the Disney Store.

It is ironic being the youngest of my whole family, (cousins included) I always dreamed of being an adult, I was the last to do things. I was always left out of the older kids activities, though my sister did try her best to include me. I would hear people say how they wished they could be younger, I always wanted to be older. Twenty-one, dirty thirty bring it!

Of course now that I am actually older, it isn’t as glamorous as I thought. Bills? Definitely not glamorous. Unable to sleep in even on weekends? Torture. What I thought were chores are actually daily necessities as an adult.

I am reminded of two proverbs: “Be careful what you wish for.” And “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

Both are true. We always think we will have it better if we are older. Or make more money. Have a bigger apartment. We want what we don’t have, until we get it and realize their are downsides to it.

As a kid I didn’t realize the responsibilities that came with being an adult. Or maybe my sparkly pink sunglasses shaded me from the realities. As an adult their are times I wish I could go back being a kid. Where I don’t need to work long hours or go to school to get my dream house, but in fact it was already built by Fisher Price and little people lived there.

Instead I was running around today like a chicken, with its head cut off, (I know, that is a really horrible analogy) hurrying to do errands, trying to fill out complicated contracts (and screwing them up which just made me an even crazier person), get food, make meetings, write papers. Wondering why their are only 24 hours in a day.

But with a constant rush hour like today was, I remind myself of those simpler times of when I was a kid. When I would let my imagination run wild. Get lost in Brio and dolls, pretending I was an adult, when it seemed glamorous. It was the pureness and innocence of a child.

While days like today don’t channel the glamorous side of the adult world. In actuality I might have wanted to tear my hair out – until I remembered the expensive dye job and how long it has taken me to grow it out – and just repeat I don’t want to grow up, a hundred times.

When you get past all the bills and responsibility, being an adult is pretty amazing. It also helps when your barista feels sorry for your hypochondriac self and upgrades your coffee (though more caffeine probably wasn’t the best idea, but it’s the thought that counts) and a stranger reminds you their is still magic in the world with helpful actions in kindness.

Yes, sometimes I do wish I was a kid again. But then as long as I remember the exuberance and faith, I will always be a kid at heart. Grown up or not.

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