Traveling in the city is no cake walk. You are preparing for war, a UFC fight and a beauty pageant all at the same time. You want to look cute because there is a high probability a celebrity will be at the airport or maybe just your future hubby. Yet, by the time you get there, you have probably sweated all your make-up off broken a nail, your hair is a frizzball and you hate life.
You are probably lamenting packing so much (even if it is a 19 by 13 thank you cabin regulared suitcases on wheels) and tempted to chuck it before you even get to the airport or train station. Besides who wants to pay those inflated baggage fees anyway?
While traveling is a workout in of itself, there are a few options in the Concrete Jungle to get you where you need to be and to keep you somewhat sane maybe not as mellow as xanax, but it takes the edge off.
The first, most obvious, easiest and yet sadly most expensive (why does it have to be so expensive?) is a taxi. You can call one (thanks Apple App store) or just hail it from the street. It will take you to any of the area airports for a flat rate (fifty-six and eight dollar tolls are not included) alas while you may not be sweating, you might be, depending on how they drive, praying to the car gods and holding the “oh shit” handle for dear life. Once you get to the airport you might very well pull a move from the Pacifer and cry, hysterically grateful that you are indeed on “Land!” You may also have to wait to buy those Hudson Jeans, because it will cost you around seventy once you include tip and tolls.
Another option though one I never take is the buses. It takes much longer and generally much like the taxi, begging the question why you ate before you left. Bright side it is only a bus fare and at 2.75 you can’t beat that. It is also the only form of public transportation that will take you to Laguardia, where flying cars will have been in existence before airtrain is installed there.
Perhaps the easiest in my mind, but most daunting for those not use to it are the trains. For the purposes of this post, I will focus on the E. There are several trains that go to air tran hubs which then go to JFK.
I should say easiest is used in relative terms. It is much cheaper then a taxi at 7.75 (five dollar air tran, and 2.75 for subway) If you do not live near the E train you will have to transfer and while you hopefully will have great biceps by the end of it, you may have thrown a few expletives at people, used your suitcase as a weapon, and wondered why the hell chivalry is dead, when all the men are sitting and the women standing….or maybe you just got on the Mormon train.
Once you get on the E train it is about fortyish minutes to Sutphin Boulevard. Hopefully by that point, the sweat has dried and your face is back on. (Side note travel with tissues you will need them) you can then enjoy the quick tour of Queens as you ride the airtran to your terminal of choice.
If it is Terminal five, once you get passed security, you can run not walk to starbucks on the left when you exit security. I don’t think a person has ever been more thankful for an amenity. Once you have your happy juice, you can sit back and enjoy the people watching as you wait for your flight in the nice airt terminal.