For centuries, centuries, I feel like, people have been trying to change others. Why? Why I ask?
I am reminded of that episode of Boy Meets World, where the boys do a little skit about the stupidity of men to win back their wives and girlfriends All because they had the brilliant idea they could change and control them.
Nope. Never gonna happen.
I am no newbie to dating, ESPECIALLY dating in the city. I have done it all; Online, happenstance, blind dates, and everything in between.
YOU can NOT change someone. Ever. Bad Bad, Sheep Baaaaad idea.
Yet consistently, I meet guys who think they can change me. Maybe I am giving out the “Please change me” pheromone. Just when I think I have met the perfect guy, they turn all pyscho wanting marriage and babies and kids. (And no psychosis does not equal marriage and babies sometimes they are just plain psychotic.)
Slow down tiger. It is a marathon NOT a rodeo.
Despite my honesty of wanting someone to grow with, guys still think they can rush me.
Guys (and woman) You can NOT rush someone. It does NOT end well.
For me marriage is once and it is forever (which I realize adds its own baggage and trust issues) I do not want to sprint down the aisle.
I realize I am getting to that age, where once you know, you know and their is no point waiting. Of course I have never been one to follow the crowds and as I decided to finally get my Bachelors years after everyone else my age did, I do not live by that same rule, because I still have the adventure gene embedded in me which I have not yet stamped out.
I know it might sound like I want my cake and to eat it too, (But of course cake is scrumptious) but the truth is I just want a good guy, who is as passionate about life and goals as I am and is going to respect where I am at. Someone who wants to grow with me. Not rush me with a timeline he must follow -I thought that was a woman’s job anyway?
You know that saying, “Life is a journey not a destination?” The same applies to relationships.
Relationships, are multiple wine tastings that are savored, not a crazy drinking binge, where everything happens and you don’t remember any of it.
I want to remember. I want to savor the first dates, the wooing and honeymoon periods, the highs and lows. I want to learn and snuggle, and be surprised and amazed, and loved.
You can’t do that, if you rush.
I get society has this timeline filled with criteria and ageism bullcrap. But relationships aren’t like that. It is a rollercoaster with highs and lows and valleys in the middle. It is cultivated and groomed. Each relationship is different and as such doesn’t fit into the stereotype of what is expected.
Respect plays a big part in that. You will never find someone if you are constantly looking at the end goal. You may have found the one, but you will never know if you look at what society dictates rather then what your partner needs.
Marriage, kids, that is all great, but it comes with the right time and right person. Savor it, don’t force it. Life is but a passing moment, you can’t get those moments back unless you are truly living in them, enjoying it with that person.